


Assassination Chatroom

by Kiichixo



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: :"), F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Memes, This is crack, ass class, assassination chatroom, bromance my dudes, cursing, dont take this seriously, hazama is the literal darkness, help them, im dead, karma's an ass, my brain is exploding, my fingers are dead, save karasuma, so many ships i dont know about, total ooc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2018-12-08 15:11:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11649177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiichixo/pseuds/Kiichixo
Summary: Nagisa creates a chatroom for the good of the class.But group chats are hell





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ichiinxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichiinxx/gifts).



> this was originally meant for a friend but iphone notes and google docs makes this thing way too long to scroll through so y'all can judge me now

**Nagisa Shiota has logged in.**

**The Devil™ has joined the chat.**

**kayaNO has joined the chat.**

The Devil™: What’s this

kayaNO: Nagisa?

**Okuduh has joined the chat.**

**dumb blonde has joined the chat.**

Okuduh: Oh…

Okuduh: Hello!

dumb blonde: bitchin

kayaNO: hi Okuda!

The Devil™: Hey

kayaNO: Nagisa whats this chat for?

**Nagisa Shiota has named the group chat _Ass Class._**

The Devil™: “Ass” class

kayaNO: the irony is tragic

dumb blonde: rip

Nagisa Shiota: Oh, I forgot the period.

**Nagisa Shiota has named the group chat _Ass. Class._**

The Devil™: It was better without lmao

dumb blonde: lmao true

kayaNO: Karma!

The Devil™: That’s my name, don’t wear it out

kayaNO: Nagisa cant you change it to something else?

Nagisa Shiota: Why?

**ゆきこ has joined the chat.**

Nagisa Shiota: Assassination was too long, so I shortened it.

The Devil™: Leave it

The Devil™: Kayano’s just embarrassed she can’t relate

dumb blonde: OOOOO

kayaNO: YOU TAKE THAT BACK AKABANE.

ゆきこ: Oh my…

ゆきこ: Did I miss something?

**strong boi has joined the chat.**

kayaNO: Karma says I have a flat butt!

strong boi: he aint wrong

kayaNO: you better watch your back tomorrow Terasaka.

strong boi: shit

The Devil™: Lmao

strong boi: shut up no one asked you to talk

The Devil™: That’s why I take it upon myself to bless you with my speech

strong boi: this is dumb im outta here

**strong boi has left the chat.**

Okuduh: He left…

The Devil™: He’ll be back

**strong boi has joined the chat.**

strong boi: wtf

Okuduh: Welcome back! :D

strong boi: alright who added me back

**are2Dtoo has joined the chat.**

**fuwamazing has joined the chat.**

**zooventure has joined the chat.**

strong boi: im not pinning it on okuda cause shes not an asshole like the rest of you

Okuduh: Uh,, thank you?

Okuduh: I think.

Okuduh: (^-^;

strong boi: ya

are2Dtoo: What are we pinning?

fuwamazing: a mystery?????

zooventure: bugs???

strong boi: no what

strong boi: who the hell added me back

The Devil™: You're welcome

strong boi: screw you

strong boi: im leaving

strong boi: dont add me back karma

**strong boi has left the chat.**

**strong boi has joined the chat.**

strong boi: what the FUCK KARMA

The Devil™: Wasn't me this time

are2Dtoo: I'm confused,,,

Nagisa Shiota: Guys I can't add people if you keep talking. It's blocking the search!

strong boi: what are you doing anyways

kayaNO: he said shut up Terasaka.

are2Dtoo: Damn

The Devil™: Savage

zooventure: zesty

ゆきこ: I felt the heat from here.

dumb blonde: burn baby burn

Okuduh: Yikes!

Nagisa Shiota: Guys!!

are2Dtoo: sorry

Okuduh: Sorry.

ゆきこ: Sorry.

**sugoino has joined the chat.**

sugoino: what--

are2Dtoo: shh!

**Yuuma has joined the chat.**

**justice has joined the chat.**

**Art dump has joined the chat.**

Art dump: Is this some kind of intervention

justice: yeah what r we doing here

**The Darkness has joined the chat.**

justice: o shit

The Darkness: I have awakened.

justice: its night

are2Dtoo: guys the devil is here

The Devil™: Ive been here

The Darkness: You are nowhere near the Devil.

The Devil™: You're right

The Devil™: I'm way past that wimp

The Devil™: I am god

strong boi: jfc

dumb blonde: lol guys stop boosting his ego

Yuuma: Good evening! What's happening?

are2Dtoo: Karma is getting his ego fed to him with a silver spoon

The Darkness: Yes... good evening.

Art dump: Why is everyone else so quiet

Nagisa Shiota: Sorry, could you guys keep it down for a little? I'm trying to add people and the notifications keep blocking the search bar.

Art dump: Oh yeah sure

justice: k

**Available ;) has joined the chat.**

Available ;): o

**itonahbro has joined the chat.**

**Ikemegu has joined the chat.**

itonahbro: why am i here?

Ikemegu: Hi Itona

itonabro: oh, hi

**porndealer has joined the chat.**

porndealer: ayyy

**Sniper 1 has joined the chat.**

**Sniper 2 has joined the chat.**

Sniper 1: …

Sniper 2: …

**Sniper 1 has left the chat.**

**Sniper 2 has left the chat.**

**Mamahara has joined the chat.**

**shroom has joined the chat.**

**Sniper 1 has joined the chat.**

**Sniper 2 has joined the chat.**

Nagisa Shiota: Please don't leave!

Mamahara: Group chat!!

shroom: Sweet

Sniper 1: Fine

Sniper 2: I don't want to be here.

**noodleloofah has joined the chat.**

**taicycle has joined the chat.**

**Sun monkey has joined the chat.**

taicycle: um

taicycle: yeah ok

Sun monkey: Hello

Okuduh: Hello!

**yadayada has joined the chat.**

yadayada: oh, hi!

**Ritsu has joined the chat.**

Ritsu: I have been added to this chat.

Ritsu: This is exciting!

Ritsu: Thank you. :)

kayaNO: Nagisa are you done yet

strong boi: thats the whole class idk why he wouldnt be

**Bitch sensei has joined the chat.**

strong boi: what

kayaNO: !!NO BIG BOOBS!!

Bitch sensei: What kind of greeting was that…

are2Dtoo: Look! It's our bitch

Bitch sensei: I will rip your ecchi manga to shreds.

fuwamazing: not the manga!

are2Dtoo: Wait i'm sorry please don't touch my treasures

porndealer: real or not, we must protect all forms of sexy!

itonahbro: ^^^^

Bitch sensei: You guys are just sad

kayaNO: seconded!

Yuuma: thirded

dumb blonde: fourthed

strong boi: fived

The Devil™: Way to dumb down the chat Terasaka

strong boi: what

The Devil™: It's "fifthed" not "fived"

strong boi: shut up you get the point

Nagisa Shiota: One more!

are2Dtoo: More?

zooventure: ooo i think i know who it is!

kayaNO: Korosensei!

strong boi: he has a phone?

are2Dtoo: Wouldn't it be weird with him in this chat

Okuduh: I wonder if he's the same over text?

Mamahara: It'd be fun with him here

**Karasuma has joined the chat.**

dumb blonde: BYE

zooventure: oh my god

Yuuma: I didn't expect that.

are2Dtoo: You added him of all people??

Karasuma: What's going on here?

porndealer: it spoke!

zooventure: karasuma sensei isnt an "it" dumbass!

taicycle: pff yeah careful w/ those pronouns u might trigger him okajima

sugoino: #triggered!!!!

Karasuma: What?

Art dump: Guys hes not gonna understand

sugoino: we must educate him

dumb blonde: prepare the pronoun board

kayaNO: ill get the 50 page essay

Nagisa Shiota: Okay! That's enough of that.

taicycle: dang i wanted to see this go down

Karasuma: Irina.

dumb blonde: i ship it

kayaNO: same

Bitch sensei: Yes?

Karasuma: Why are we here?

Bitch sensei: I'm just as lost as you.

Karasuma: …

Nagisa Shiota: Can I explain now? Are we done talking? Thanks.

dumb blonde: oo shota boy is taking charge

Nagisa Shiota: …

dumb blonde: continue

Nagisa Shiota: This is a chat where we can discuss various tactics to kill Korosensei, so even if we can't talk in person, we can create plans whenever we want and everyone will know about it.

Nagisa Shiota: But this is also just a way for us to get to know each other better. We can help each other out easily too.

**Karasuma has left the chat.**

Art dump: Rip

sugoino: lol bye

**Karasuma has joined the chat.**

Nagisa Shiota: Karasuma-sensei, please don’t leave.

Karasuma: Nagisa, I don’t have time for this.

Nagisa Shiota: Please! This will help us a lot, I swear!

Bitch sensei: Yeah, Karasuma, stay.

dumb blonde: ya listen to your girlfriend sensei

Karasuma: She’s not my girlfriend. She is only a co-worker.

The Devil™: Yeah, yeah, sure whatever you say

shroom: Even Karma ships it

Yuuma: Doesn’t everyone?

taicycle: truth

Nagisa Shiota: Karasuma-sensei, please give it a try.

Bitch sensei: Give it a chance. Nagisa has a good point.

Karasuma: …

dumb blonde: do it

shroom: Do it

kayaNO: do it!!

porndealer: JUST

sugoino: DO

Available ;): IT

Art dump: Dooooo it

taicycle: do it!

yadayada: yess!

Okuduh: Please stay, Karasuma-sensei.

Yuuma: I think it's a nice opportunity.

Ikemegu: I agree with Isogai.

zooventure: look! The ikemens agree-- you have to agree now!

Mamahara: Yes!

are2Dtoo: My phone is having a seizure

fuwamazing: same

Bitch sensei: Karasuma?

Karasuma: Fine. I’ll stay.

Ikemegu; Yes!

sugoino: sweet

zooventure: woot!

Karasuma: But don't expect me to actively participate in this chat room outside of assassination plans.

fuwamazing: aww

Art dump: Well that's no fun

Bitch sensei: I was always the funner teacher.

are2Dtoo: Keep telling yourself that

ゆきこ: You mostly critique us on our fashion.

kayaNO: and show off your boobs!

fuwamazing: down with the boobs!!

kayaNO: YEAH!

porndealer: guys theyre a blessing from the gods leave her boobs alone

Bitch sensei: Thank you.

kayaNO: creepy!

Mamahara: Where's Hazama?

are2Dtoo: Lurking

fuwamazing: what about muramatsu?

taicycle: working

sugoino: isnt his ramen really good?

itonahbro: not really

strong boi: shut up his ramen is awesome

taicycle: im actually pretty hungry right now

taicycle: anyone up for ramen?

strong boi: yeah ill meet you there

itonahbro: ill go too

Mamahara: I thought you don't like Muramatsu's ramen?

itonahbro: i dont

itonahbro: but i like making fun of it

Art dump: So mean

taicycle: hazama?

The Darkness: I will be there.

taicycle: cool anyone else?

Nagisa Shiota: No thank you.

Bitch sensei: Can I come?

taicycle: no

Mamahara: I'll go!

sugoino: nah my mom is already cooking dinner

Art dump: Ill see if i can

fuwamazing: i ate

kayaNO: same here

Okuduh: ^

Available ;): ^^

yadayada: ^^^

taicycle: alright

The Devil™: Nagisa

Nagisa Shiota: Yeah?

The Devil™: I found a copy of Sonic Ninja

The Devil™: Wanna come over?

Okuduh: Sonic Ninja?

kayaNO: some dumb movie only boys like

yadayada: i actually like that movie

dumb blonde: same

Nagisa Shiota: You didn't pirate it, did you?

The Devil™: No, why would i do that

Mamahara: The last few movies you brought to class were pirated into a flashdrive

The Devil™: No Sonic Ninja is a movie worth buying

Sun monkey: Yes!

Ritsu: I would like to see this movie.

The Devil™: I'll bring it to class for you someday

are2Dtoo: My phone...

Okuduh: Is it glitching?

are2Dtoo: Yeah

kayaNO: its a group chat what do you expect.

yadayada: lol

Available ;): yeah group chats r hell

Nagisa Shiota: I'll head over Karma. My mom is letting me go.

The Devil™: Okay, I'll see you then

dumb blonde: welp

yadayada: everyone's leaving, so i'll go too

Okuduh: Bye!

Ritsu: Have a good night, everyone!

Mamahara: Good night!

Sun monkey: Night

Available ;): nite


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nagisa and karasuma get new names :")  
> boob debate man  
> karma protecting his gf okuda how cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since you guys seemed to like this so much, have another chapter :)

Art dump: Has anyone noticed that nagisa and karasuma sensei have the most boring usernames?

Yuuma: They do seem plain.

Available ;): we should give them new names

kayaNO: good idea Maehara!

The Devil™: Ohohoho~

yadayada: okay santa claus chill out

Sun monkey: What names should we give them?

zooventure: DADDYSUMA

fuwamazing: spicy.

fuwamazing: i like it.

The Devil™: Interesting name ψ(｀∇´)ψ

zooventure: you stay away from him!

The Devil™: Oh trust me i'm far, far away

Bitch sensei: YES.

Bitch sensei: FUCK.

Bitch sensei: YES.

Available ;): woah there

shroom: Bitch sensei just busted an ovary

Okuduh: Uh...

justice: rlly tho

yadayada: gender for nagisa?

sugoino: no we already use it for code names

dumb blonde: shota boy

porndealer: perfect

sugoino: y e s

The Devil™: Ristu

Ristu: Yes?

The Devil™: Any way you could change their users for us?

Ritsu: Of course! They will be changed by the time they return.

kayaNO: thanks Ritsu!

Ritsu: No problem!

Okuduh: Is this really okay?

The Devil™: Ass class has no boundaries ψ(｀∇´)ψ

kayaNO: how many times are you going to use that emoji...

The Devil™: ψ(｀∇´)ψ

noodleloofah: woah

noodleloofah: whats this

strong boi: about time you checked your phone

sugoino: hows the shop muramatsu?

noodleloofah: its the same as usual

noodleloofah: dad wont budge though

Okuduh: :(

dumb blonde: you wanted to change the recipe right?

noodleloofah: yeah but my dad wont let me

noodleloofah: im just gonna keep waiting until i take over the place

Okuduh: Keep it up!

noodleloofah: thanks!

yadayada: hey

yadayada: what happened to bitch sensei

Art dump: Probably best if we dont know

strong boi: probably some weird disgusting shit

Yuuma: It will always be a mystery

Bitch sensei: How rude! I could be dying and none of you would care!

The Devil™: Well? are you?

Bitch sensei: No?

strong boi: you dont know if youre dying?

porndealer: yeah why the question mark

justice: lol

zooventure: dumbasses it means "why would i be dying?"

Bitch sensei: Thank you, Hinano.

strong boi: tell me how the hell that one word translates to a full sentence

porndealer: thats dumb

kayaNO: maybe if you paid attention in her class you wouldnt be so stupid

Bitch sensei: See, Kayano is a good student.

strong boi: okay but that doesnt answer my question

porndealer: its hard and boring i literally have no motivation

kayaNO: the only motivation you ever have is for taking pictures of half naked girls

porndealer: my true passion!

yadayada: gross

Okuduh: Part of me can't seem to fully cheer you on...

Available ;): i can

Available ;): big boobs ftw!!

porndealer: BOOOOOOBS!!!!

itonahbro: my people are calling

porndealer: yes brother! chant with us!

Available ;): BOOBS

porndealer: BOOBS

itonahbro: BOOBS

Available ;): B

porndealer: O

itonahbro: O

kayaNO: NO BIG BOOBS!

Available ;): aw

itonahbro: so close

kayaNO: FUWA.

fuwamazing: KAYANO.

kayaNO: WE MUST ELIMINATE THESE PERVERTS FOR THE A SOCIETY.

fuwamazing: FOR THE A SOCIETY!

itonahbro: the what now

porndealer: what disgusting cult--

kayaNO: TO PROTECT THE SMALL BOOBS!

fuwamazing: WE MUST UNITE!

kayaNO: DOWN WITH BIG BOOBS AND THEIR LOVERS

Okuduh: Wouldn't you be eliminating a majority of men in the world? Especially Japan?

kayaNO: YES.

kayaNO: JOIN US OKUDA.

kayaNO: WE CAN BE SMALL TOGETHER.

porndealer: uuhhh

Okuduh: I think...

Okuduh: I think I'm okay right now, Kayano.

Okuduh: Thank you for the invitation though.

Okuduh: (^^)

kayaNO: i see.

Okuduh: You see?

kayaNO: Okuda im sorry.

Okuduh: ???

Okuduh: Why?

kayaNO: i have mistaken you for one of us.

Okuduh: Uh...?

kayaNO: youre a c under that uniform arent you!

Okuduh: What!?

Okuduh: No!

kayaNO: THERES NO HIDING IT OKUDA.

kayaNO: IM EXPOSING YOU FOR THE SIZE YOU REALLY ARE.

Okuduh: You're mistaken!

kayaNO: no, these eyes do not make mistakes.

porndealer: shes actually a b

Okuduh: !!

kayaNO: how would you know!?

fuwamazing: hes hiding something!

porndealer: no

porndealer: guys

porndealer: i am the master of boobs

kayaNO: uh i beg to differ??!?!?

kayaNO: i bet you five yen shes a c under that baggy uniform.

porndealer: sorry i dont bet because i already know

The Devil™: Lmao guys you're making okuda uncomfortable

kayaNO: how do you know?

The Devil™: She stopped looking at the chat about two minutes ago

The Devil™: That, and she's pming me

kayaNO: oh crudcake-

kayaNO: sorry Okuda! i got a little out of hand.

porndealer: yeah sorry

kayaNO: ....

kayaNO: (fight me in pm Okajima).

porndealer: (get ready to catch these hands)

kayaNO: (im so ready you have no idea).

porndealer: (to the death)

kayaNO: (to the death)!

The Devil™: Guys

kayaNO: going now.

porndealer: bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kermitting


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who's this douchebag?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's only been like a week since i posted this shitty fic but there's already so many views thank you guys

Shota Boy: Okuda, are you okay?

Okuduh: Yes, I'm fine now. ^^

dumb blonde: omg it worked

fuwamazing: bless

ゆきこ: Oh... perhaps my username is boring, too?

sugoino: no! youre perfect

Available ;): ;)

sugoino: i mean! its perfect

sugoino: the username

sugoino: not you

ゆきこ: ...

Art dump: Smooth

yadayada: real smooth.

zooventure: horrible recovery

sugoino: what

sugoino: WAIT NO

sugoino: i didnt mean it like that!

sugoino: you ARE perfect but like

ゆきこ: Not really?

sugoino: yes!

taicycle: dude

sugoino: SHIT

sugoino: kanzaki!

Available ;): too late

Availabe ;): i am ashamed

sugoino: shiiiiitt

justice: even im embarrassed

porndealer: epic fail

Art dump: That was really sad

strong boi: yeah

sugoino: i gotta apologise!

The Devil™: Yes, yes go do that

The Devil™: Anyways

strong boi: oh god

Mamahara: I sense something malicious.

Ikemegu: Coming from Karma? Probably is.

Shota Boy: What is it, Karma?

yadayada: he's never going to notice is he?

taicycle: nah

Shota Boy: ?

dumb blonde: just wait for it

Art dump: Can we place bets?

itonahbro: im in

strong boi: same

Sniper 1: Bets?

Sniper 2: How much are we placing?

strong boi: woah the ghosts are talking

The Devil™: 2300 yen for 10 minutes

strong boi: hey thats too much!

Sniper 1: I'll place the same for five minutes

itonahbro: 3 minutes

strong boi: seriously!?

Sniper 2: Seven.

Shota Boy: What are you guys talking about?

The Devil™: Nothing, bets closed

strong boi: hey i didnt get to bet!

The Devil™: Well if you weren't complaining you could have been betting

The Devil™: You gotta be fast in these parts Terasaka

strong boi: shut up

Shota Boy: Anyways, Karma, you were saying something?

The Devil™: Oh yeah

**Assano has joined the chat.**

Shota Boy: What!?

dumb blonde: o shit its second place

fuwamazing: EW

kayaNO: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

strong boi: karma what the fuck

Assano: What the hell is this?

The Devil™: Welcome to hell Second Place-kun

Assano: Why am I here, Akabane?

The Devil™: Shits n giggles

Okuduh: Oh, isn't he the chairman’s son?

dumb blonde: lmaoooo rip

justice: wait what is HE doing here

Shota Boy: Karma, why?

zooventure: mmmmnope

The Devil™: Oh by the way, Okuda is an A cup

kayaNO: i was right the first time!?

porndealer: dang! one cup off!

Okuduh: Karma!

The Devil™: What's wrong, sweetheart? ;)

strong boi: what the fuck is an a cup

Assano: Oh, I found the uneducated part of the E class.

porndealer: how do you not know what an a cup is!?

shroom: Its the opposite of bitch-sensei

strong boi: huh

taicycle: jugs

porndealer: cans

kayaNO: knockers

fuwamazing: bongos

Available ;): mankillers

noodleloofah: melons

itonahbro: tatas

strong boi: okay what

Assano: Alright, I've wasted enough time here.

**Assano has left the chat.**

justice: o good he left

The Devil™: Your relief is temporary

**Assano has joined the chat.**

Assano: What?

The Devil™: Sup

**Assano has left the chat.**

**Assano has joined the chat.**

Assano: Stop adding me back, Akabane.

The Devil™: Nah

**Assano has left the chat.**

**Assano has joined the chat.**

**Assano has left the chat.**

justice: holy shit

**Assano has joined the chat.**

Okuduh: Oh dear...

**Assano has left the chat.**

dumb blonde: jfc

**Assano has joined the chat.**

fuwamazing: my phone :c

**Assano has left the chat.**

**Assano has joined the chat.**

Daddysuma: Stop it you two.

dumb blonde: HAHAHA

fuwamazing: oh my god~~~ yeeeeessss

Bitch-sensei: ;)

Assano: It seems no one in the E class is mature.

Daddysuma: Excuse me?

Assano: I'm assuming you're Karasuma-sensei?

Daddysuma: Yes. My students seem to have dragged you into this mess.

Assano: You'd be right about that.

justice: his father will hear about this

zooventure: pfft

shroom: Okay Malfoy

Daddysuma: Five more laps tomorrow, all three of you.

shroom: What!?

justice: no way

zooventure: i was just laughing!

Daddysuma: Do you want me to make it ten?

shroom: No sir

zooventure: no...

justice: no

Daddysuma: Akabane.

The Devil™: Oh, I've been called out

Daddysuma: Please leave Gakushuu alone. I don't want to be speaking to the chairman about his son's internet harassment.

The Devil™: Ah, but Karasuma-sensei! What you don't know is that my good buddy yakyak here wanted to be in the chat.

Assano: Why would I want to be in this dumb chat?

The Devil™: Shush now Second Place. Denial doesn't look good on you

Assano: Would you stop calling me that?

The Devil™: No can do mi Amigo

Assano: I'm not your friend.

Daddysuma: Enough.

Daddysuma: It's too early for this. Go to bed, all of you.

itonahbro: are we taking bets for him too

The Devil™: Nah, I've collected enough money for today

strong boi: no ones even won the bet yet

Shota Boy: Guys!!

Shota Boy: What did you do to my username? And why can't I change it!?

Sniper 1: Ten minutes...

Sniper 2: On the dot...

The Devil™: Bingo~

strong boi: HOW

itonahbro: my allowance...

The Devil™: I believe that's 2300 yen?

The Devil™: That'll be from each of you, of course ψ(｀∇´)ψ

The Devil™: Including Terasaka

strong boi: me too!?

The Devil™: You said you wanted in on the bet

strong boi: but i didnt bet anything!

The Devil™: you dont have to bet anything to be in on the bet ψ(｀∇´)ψ

strong boi: thats not how it works!!

Sniper 1: I'll give it to you tomorrow

Sniper 2: Yeah.

Daddysuma: GO. TO. BED.

**Assano has left the chat.**

**Assano has joined the chat.**

Assano: OH MY GOD AKABANE.

The Devil™: OH MY GOD ASANO

Daddysuma: SHUT UP AND GO TO BED I SWEAR TO GOD.

The Devil™: I am god

Daddysuma: KARMA.

The Devil™: Lmao good night

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THIS YO  
> so if you guys are ever interested in anything beside my crappy writing i have crappy cosplays and even crappier edits so if you want to judge me even harder--  
> heres my instas  
> Cos: kiichixo <\-- on here more, probably get writing updates so you guys know im actually doing this shit  
> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know i'm so tired

fuwamazing: give me a fact.

are2Dtoo: According to all known laws of aviation

noodleloofah: there is no way a bee should be able to fly

Okuduh: It's wings are too small to get it's fat little body off the ground! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

Ikemegu: The bee, of course, flies anyway. ┐(︶▽︶)┌

The Devil™: Because bees don't care what humans think is impossible ψ( ` ∇ ´ )ψ

Available ;): STOP OMG

dumb blonde: wow that was the longest you guys have ever gone with that script

Mamahara: That is the deadest meme.

Okuduh: He does interrupt a lot faster in person doesn't he?

fuwamazing: i am not telling my brother any of that no matter how tempting it may be.

porndealer: why not its literally perfect

Available ;): well i WAS busy until my phone started having a seizure in my pocket

dumb blonde: wops

porndealer: did it feel good

fuwazing: EW

Okuduh: Oh... (O_O)

The Devil™: Ohoho~

Available ;): no wtf

porndealer: i mean i'm just sayin

are2Dtoo: Super sayin

itonahbro: shut up you weeb

are2Dtoo: I literally saw you and Terasaka watching DragonBallZ in class yesterday

strong boi: whats it to you

Okuduh: Hi, Terasaka!

strong boi: hey

are2Dtoo: Anyways

strong boi: what do you mean anyways!?

dumb blonde: pfft

are2Dtoo: Just because I make a dingle reference to a popular anime does not make me a "weeb"

dumb blonde: DINGLE

Okuduh: Jingle!

Available ;): single... :(

noodleloofah: im-

The Devil™: Tingle

are2Dtoo: NO

are2Dtoo: NO TINGLES, KARMA

strong boi: the heck is a tingle

Shota Boy: A terrifying reference.

dumb blonde: IS IT ME

dumb blonde: LIKE JuST ME

dumb blonde: OR IS ANYONE ELSE SHITTING THEMSELVES BECAUSE OF "DINGLE"

yadayada: ME I WAS JUST TOO BUSY LAUGHING TO TYPE

noodleloofah: sugayas been typing for ages

Okuduh: I wonder what he's going to say?

noodleloofah: yeah?

dumb blonde: iM CRYING

Okuduh: Please don't cry! Unless it's happy tears!

yadayada: OH THESE

yadayada: T H ES E ARE GLORY TeARS

Shota Boy: It does sound funny doesn't it?

Mamahara: What does?

Okuduh: Good afternoon, Hara!

The Devil™: "Dingle"

dumb blonde: DINGLE AHA

Mamahara: Hi, Okuda!

are2Dtoo: It's really not that funny

are2Dtoo: Just a spelling error

Mamahara: No that's actually pretty funny sounding

Art dump: qhy wlgld yoh me tikb tibgle

strong boi: what

noodleloofah: you okay sugaya

dumb blonde: i understand dude japanese really is tough i know

Art dump: soeey i gave painf on mt hanfs

strong boi: speak clearly

dumb blonde: bgeiabvdhiabvnroebn jvkasbol

are2Dtoo: Learn to decipher

The Devil™: Aww don't be mean to Terasaka

Art dump: tje paimt id on mysc reen

Okuduh: Maybe go and clean your hands? The screen too!

strong boi: uh thanks?

The Devil™: After all, he is dumber than a rock

strong boi: i take it back

strong boi: i fucking hate you

Shota Boy: Karma, that's rude!

The Devil™: Shh Nagisa

The Devil™: Can you hear that?

Shota Boy: Hear what?

The Devil™: Terasaka's brain functioning

Shota Boy: Why would I be able to hear that?

The Devil™: Exactly

strong boi: dude shut up im not more stupider than a rock

The Devil™: "More stupider"

Shota Boy: Terasaka, you don't need to put "more" in there.

strong boi: what? i thought thats how it goes

The Darkness: You need to read more books.

The Darkness: I'll lend you one...?

strong boi: im fine without thanks

strong boi: your books are freaky as hell

The Darkness: I think they're perfect~.

strong boi: of course you do

The Devil™: Maybe he doesn't have the guts to read your nonfiction

Okuduh: Karma, shouldn't you be nicer? I mean, Terasaka /has/helped you out in the past with some missions.

Okuduh: Also, he isn't dumb. He's just... challenged? By certain subjects?

The Devil™: You mean everything but Gym?

strong boi: hes not wrong there

The Devil™: See?

Okuduh: Karma!

The Devil™: Okay! Fine. I /guess/ i'll be nicer to the pseudo takaoka

Okuduh: Thank you!

dumb blonde: okay but how does okuda calm karma down like that

strong boi: can we not compare me to that guy

Shota Boy: I wish I knew.

fuwamazing: cute ;)

The Devil™: Petition to stop calling terasaka "pseudo takaoka" say "i"

strong boi: i

strong boi: ...

strong boi: seriously guys

Okuduh: Sorry, Terasaka, I'd agree with you but... you sort of do remind me a little of Takaoka.

fuwamazing: yeah its kinda freaky to be honest

Shota Boy: I agree with Okuda.

Available ;): tbh

strong boi: HOW

dumb blonde: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "HOW" IM

Available ;): ok so for 1 ur super into gym

dumb blonde: you have some anger issues honestly even though his are waaaaay more drastic

are2Dtoo: Don't forget the bloodlust

kayaNO: its not as bad as Nagisas though.

dumb blonde: HONESTLY YEAH

Shota Boy: What!?

The Darkness: If I had his bloodlust just think of what I could do...

Available ;): how about no

Shota Boy: Come on, it's not that bad, is it? Karma?

The Devil™: No it's pretty fucking terrifying

Shota Boy: Oh...

Bitch sensei: I think his bloodlust is extraordinary! Be proud of it Nagisa.

Shota Boy: I guess I will? I don't exactly want to appear scary though.

strong boi: your like a stepping stool for me you arent intimidating

The Devil™: And you look like a girl

Shota Boy: I'm not!

dumb blonde: are you sure

Assano: For the love of christ no matter how many times I mute this chat, my phone still glitches immensely.

Assano: Do any of you even have lives!?

The Devil™: Says the guy who works 24/7 to please his daddy

Assano: Well unlike your pitiful E Class, I have a bright future ahead of me, and I will do anything in my power to attain that future.

The Devil™: Sure thing Second Place

The Devil™: Anyways, i'm bored and i wanna do something

Assano: Don't just change the subject. You got the better of me /once/. And that will be the only time, so don't get so cocky!

The Devil™: Yeah yeah whatever who's up for a game?

Okuduh: I am!

Shota Boy: Me too!

Assano: Count me out. I'm leaving.

Bitch sensei: He wasn't asking you, brat.

dumb blonde: ooo rip

dumb blonde: im gonna play

kayaNO: me!

are2Dtoo: Same here

kayaNO: Bitch sensei are you playing?

Bitch sensei: Sure!

Available ;): yeah

ゆきこ: I'll join if that's alright.

Yuuma: Hello! I don't have work so I'll play.

justice: same whats the game

Sniper 1: I will

Sniper 2: If Chiba is playing then I'll play too.

dumb blonde: look at these cuties playing games together

The Devil™: Nakamura our ships are blooming

dumb blonde: :") right before our very eyes

The Devil™: They grow up so fast :")

kayaNO: quit acting like proud parents they aren't even dating.

The Devil™: not yet

dumb blonde: ψ( ` ∇ ´ )ψ

Ritsu: I would like to play this game as well!

justice: omg

The Devil™: That's my face :O

The Devil™: Okay that's enough people

justice: whats the game

The Devil™: I don't know

dumb blonde: cards against humanity

Okuduh: What's that?

taicycle: a game no one should let u play

Okuduh: What? Why?

The Devil™: No reason, Okuda. I'll show you someday

Okuduh: Is it bad?

taicycle: yes and incredibly funny

Okuduh: ???

kayaNO: Yoshida are you playing?

taicycle: nah im gonna watch

Shota Boy: Truth or dare?

The Devil™: Boring

dumb blonde: hangman

justice: how do u play hangman texting

dumb blonde: i say how many letters then you blurt out a letter and if i say no then you go again but if you fail koro sensei hangs

taicycle: holy shit

kayaNO: why is Koro-sensei hanging though?

are2Dtoo: Hey i mean if we can't kill him in real life might as well kill him in 2D

Okuduh: That's horrible!

The Devil™: But then we'd get an infinite number of chances. Your victim choice is flawed

dumb blonde: how do you know? we havent tried hanging him yet

Shota Boy: But do you really think it would work?

dumb blonde: pfffft no

The Devil™: boom baby point proved

dumb blonde: stfu karma

The Devil™: Excuse me I will shut up when I want to

The Devil™: And it's not anytime soon ψ( ` ∇ ´ )ψ

Assano: OH MY GOD JUST PLAY YOUR FREAKING GAME AND LEAVE!

Shota Boy: Asano is still here.

justice: hey u said u were leaving

kayaNO: yeah! don't come back!

taicycle: ya bro lying is bad

Assano: Is it wrong to try and progress something when my iPhone is KILLING ITSELF!?

The Devil™: An iphone is an inanimate object and therefore does not possess the ability to commit suicide

Assano: Hey, smartass, I didn't ask for your opinion.

The Devil™: Aww that's the sweetest thing you've ever called me

The Devil™: But it was a fact, not an opinion

Shota Boy: Karma has a point.

Assano: Oh my god I can't deal with you people.

ゆきこ: Then perhaps it's best if you leave.

Yuuma: Yeah. No point in hanging around where you're not welcome.

dumb blonde: THAT SHADE

taicycle: im living for this

Okuduh: Go E Class!

kayaNO: haha yeah! go back to your...

kayaNO: uh...

are2Dtoo: ...

kayaNO: rich kid things!

Bitch-sensei: Smooth.

Available ;): yeah u rlly scared him off kayano

kayaNO: you know what Maehara i think you should take your sarcasm and put it in your pocket.

Available ;): what

kayaNO: your sarcasm? just put it in your pocket

Ikemegu: Was that a 50% Off reference...

are2Dtoo: Of course the swimmer knows the swim anime

justice: OKAY GAME TIME

taicycle: nah some other time im tired as heck

TheDevil™: Nothing to play either

Shota Boy: Yeah. My mom wants me to go to bed.

Shota Boy: I'll see you guys in class tomorrow!

kayaNO: good night Nagisa!

are2Dtoo: Night guys

justice: oh, okay

dumb blonde: night

taicycle: cya

justice: nite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL ITS BEEN A WHILE  
> my apologies~ school has started and i'm swamped with homework so i'm having trouble finding the time for updates  
> ANYWAYS thank you all for you patience and i hope you enjoy this update! it's not very interesting but with my toasted brain i spit out my random thoughts.


	5. A Christmas Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> merry chrysler y'all have some heavy karma x okuda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo sorry for the delay but I haven't had time to write AT ALL so here i am on christmas morning, tired as hell and gifting you guys an update. i hope you enjoy it all and for holidays i'll be making these special chapters. they don't take place in the actual timeline of the "story" (more like crack universe), so in the next chapter go ahead and ignore when this takes place.

Shota Boy: Merry Christmas everyone!

The Devil™: Yeah merry christmas

justice: what did u guys get? have u opened anything?

Shota Boy: Not yet, but I really want to! I think I might go see if my mom is awake soon.

Okuduh: Merry Christmas!

The Devil™: Merry Christmas Okuda

dumb blonde: merry chrysler y'all

The Darkness: Yes, Merry Christmas~

strong boi: same to you guys

Available ;): i have been blessed this year

are2Dtoo: Same here

are2dtoo: Merry Christmas!

The Devil™: Nagisa you should come over later if you aren't doing anything

Shota Boy: Did you get a present Karma?

The Devil™: Hell yeah

Okuduh: What did you get?

The Devil™: Amazing video games

ゆきこ: Merry Christmas! And which games?

The Devil™: SSBB

ゆきこ: I love that game! Nice haul!

The Devil™: You wanna come over too?

ゆきこ: If I can, that would be nice. Is it okay with you?

The Devil™: Yeah come over if you can. I have four controllers so if someone else wants to come y'all can

itonahbro: im so there

Okuduh: That sounds fun. Did you get anything else Karma?

The Devil™: I haven't gotten to most of my presents yet

The Devil™: I was too hyped about my video games

are2Dtoo: You got others?

strong boi: im going if itona is going

The Devil™: Ya if you want you can come over and browse

are2Dtoo: Sweet

The Darkness: Oo~ Terasaka is following someone else this time.

Art dump: Lmao thats a first

strong boi: no its not shut up

Art dump: yes cerritos

Available ;): AUTO SQUARE

Sniper 1: If it's ssbb i'd be willing to come over

Shroom: I wanna take a christmas video

The Devil™: Come on over my dude

porndealer: MERRY CHRISTMAS YALL KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS

Available ;): FESTIVE BABES!?

porndealer: HELL YEAH

kayaNO: i cant believe you two!

kayaNO: christmas is about famly and gifts not your weird fetishes!

Okuduh: I think it's best to let them celebrate what they want. ^^

Mamahara: Merry Christmas!

sugoino: im coming over later karma

The Devil™: Aight cool

Ikemegu: I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas so far. It looks like it. :)

Sniper 2: If Chiba goes, would it be fine if I follow along?

The Devil™: Yeet

The Devil™: Honestly everyone just come on over if you can lmao

justice: but what about ur parents?

The Devil™: They're not home right now

The Devil™: They wouldn't care if I threw a party anyways lol

Yuuma: Karma, you don't spend Christmas with your parents?

The Devil™: Rarely

Ikemegu: That's so sad...

The Darkness: I know the loneliness too... ironically you're not alone

The Devil™: Nah it's not that bad

The Devil™: Just gives me more time to mess around

Shota Boy: KARMA.

Art dump: Woah

The Devil™:  Hey shota boy

dumb blonde: snort

Shroom: Nakamura has drugs

itonahbro: why arent you sharing

dumb blonde: because theyre mine you cant have them

Shroom: :0

Yuuma: Everyone else must be opening presents. I think I might go open mine too.

Shota Boy: I GOT A TON OF MOVIES. CNA I BRING THEM?

The Devil™: UHHHH LEMME THINK

The Devil™: FUCK YES

Shota Boy: YES!!

strong boi: what movies

Shota Boy: LIKE

Shota Boy: SNOCI NINJA 2

Shota Boy: AND A LOT OF DC AND MARVEL

Available ;): WONDER WOMAN?

Shota Boy: YES

Availabe ;): OH YES MAMI IM DOWN

Okuduh: Aaah! I got cute stuffed red and white blood cells!

kayaNO: how are you not dead what.

kayaNO: ISNT THAT BAD????

The Darkness: Those are adorable. I have the common cold.

dumb blonde: you got sick?? :0

The Darkness: No.

The Darkness: Not yet at least.

The Devil™: Okuda-chan is so cute~

Available ;): i smell love

dumb blonde: i do too

The Devil™: Nah that's just the burnt christmas cake

Okuduh: No, Kayano! They're little stuffed animals! There's a whole collection.

Okuduh: I've  been wanting them forever~

dumb blonde: YOU BURNT CHRISTMAS CAKE

are2Dtoo: An unforgivable crime

The Devil™: Lmao yeah

The Devil™: Still good though

noodleloofah: i got my very own LADLE

noodleloofah: im going to cook so much tonight

The Darkness: Using only a ladle?

dumb blonde: dang me too

noodleloofah: psh no

noodleloofah: because i got my very own KITCHEN SET

dumb blonde: lol

noodleloofah: perfect for noodles <3

Okuduh: I almost forgot!

Shota Boy: ?

Okuduh: The secret santa!

The Devil™: I got mine ready

Shota Boy: Let's exchange them at Karma's house! Who's going for sure?

are2Dtoo: Me

Available ;): holy crap I forgot about that but me

Available ;): i gotta go get a present hol up

itonahbro: GUNDAMMSSSSSSSSSSS

itonahbro: and me

strong boi: i am too

Yuuma: I'll try to go after work.

Shota Boy: Isogai, you work on Christmas!?

Yuuma: Sadly, yes. If anyone wants some hot chocolate, the cafe is having a special two for one.

itonahbro: terasaka lets go

strong boi: with what money

itonahbro: with my money

strong boi: where did you get money

itonahbro: my dad

strong boi: o

The Devil™: M'kay so everyone who's going just PM me so it's not a mess

Okuduh: I'm excited for tonight. :D

kayaNO: same.

Shota Boy: I'm going to buy more for the secret santa, so bye!

kayaNO: see you tonight!

are2Dtoo: See ya

The Devil™: Bye

 

* * *

 

Bags and paper crinkled under eager fingers, the feeble disguises ripped away to uncover glorious goods of toys and books and clothing. Shouts of joy and gasps of astonishment mixed in with the swarm of high voices, all battling to be heard by their intended recipient. Hugs were exchanged, and a kiss or two if hidden well. The middle schoolers were engulfed in Christmas cheer.

A few ladies were in the kitchen fixing up a Christmas cake that would satisfy everyone's sweet tooth, the burnt one icing-down in the trash where it belonged. The rest were either busy exchanging the last of the presents or gathered around the TV where Kanzaki was currently kicking ass as a pink balloon. Karma, having been one of the people gathered, got up and left to check on the kitchen magic.

"Hello~ how's it going, ladies?" he asked, sliding into the kitchen with a smirk. He looked over Kayano's shoulder but was shooed away when he stole a strawberry from her cutting board. Snickering he went to take a look at what Okuda was preparing. "Is that whipped cream?" OKuda nodded as she whisked around the thickened cream.

"It is. Would you like to try it?" Karma "ooh"'d and leaned back, looking in Kayano's direction.

"You're so _generous_ Okuda. I think I will." His voice was teasing and earned a sharp glare from the short-statured girl. He childishly stuck out his tongue and she did the same, readying a strawberry to throw at him. Okuda, oblivious to what was happening behind her, reached for a clean spoon and scooped some of the white decor. "I think it's ready. Please tell me what you think." She held the spoon up for him. Karma had resumed his previous stance behind the ravenette, a strawberry slice whizzing past his head as he leaned down to taste test.

Licking his lips, he hummed in approval. "This is really delicious. And almost as sweet as you." Karma added, letting an arm slip around her waist. Okuda nearly twinned with the strawberries Kayano was cutting. "Karma!" was all she had to say for him to get the idea. With a devilish smirk he leaned in close to her ear, cupping a hand to block Kayano's curiosity. Okuda's face was a hot plate when he exited the kitchen. Kayano, lowkey disgusted with all the lovey-dovey stuff going on, narrowed her eyes at Okuda before inching her way.

"Sooo? What was that all about?" She prompted, taking a bite of a strawberry. Okuda looked at her peer shyly.

"It's nothing to worry about. He said he had something personal to give me." Kayano's eyes went wide.

"OHO~" Okajima popped up from behind the counter, scaring the two girls.

"Okajima! Don't do that!" Kayano yelled. Okuda had to remove the bowl of whipped cream as Kayano leaned over the counter to aggressively swat at the ecchi lover. It was a failed attempt.

Okajima laughed before his entire expression went serious.

"So how do you feel about him?"

"What?" Okuda  looked confused.

"Do you like him?"

"Uh-"

"Do you think he likes  you?"

"Well-"

"Do you wanna kiss him?"

"He's just a friend!" Okuda blushed. There was a gasp and Okuda was horrified to see Karma standing in the doorway, hand over his heart and looking greatly offended.

"Okuda, I thought we had something..." he looked away, a tear falling from his long  lashes, " _special_." The ravenette clasped her hands over her mouth. Karma dramatically fled from the room and Okuda ran after him, calling him to come back and that she didn't mean it. Okajima and Kayano glanced at each other knowingly. His tricks were so easy to see through sometimes.

 

Meanwhile back at the television...

 

"So what do you think?"

"Well, I for one think they're together."

"Think or hope?"

"Of course they're together dummies! No reason they shouldn't be."

"What do you think they're doing now?"

"Kissing."

"No, it's too early for that."

"Confessing!"

"No! You're all rushing into it!"

"Oh, let us dream Mimura."

The idle game screen illuminated the otherwise dark room, a collaboration of students huddled around a kotatsu as they discussed their favourite school couple.

"A Christmas dinner would be nice."

"With candles!"

"And a homemade meal."

"It could be like Lady and the Tramp."

"Karasuma-sensei is  _far_   from a tramp."

"And Bitch-sensei is  _far_   from a lady."

Maehara scoffed. "Far from it? She's practically the embodiment of a lady."

"She's a bit rough around the edges, but she isn't all that bad." Isogai conceded.

"If only she was 2D..."

"That's gross Takebayashi."

"Guys! The cake is done!" Kayano called,  carrying with her a cream covered sponge cake with strawberries decorating the top of it. The kids on the floor made room for her so she could safely place the cake. Nagisa leaned forward, amazed by the skill Kayano had. He thought she could only make pudding.

"This is amazing. A lot better than Karma's." Kayano smirked, proudly placing a hand on her chest.

"Of course it's better! He can't bake for his life."

"C'mon let's cut it! My mouth is watering." Nakamura was grinning at the cake. Okajima brought in a knife for them to use. While they were cutting and serving, Nagisa piped up.

"Wait, where's Karma?"

A few looked around for a patch of crimson, but they couldn't find him.

"Okuda, too." Takebayashi added. Okajima snickered but was ordered to shut up with a harsh nudge delivered by Kayano.

"You know somethin' Okajima?" Terasaka asked, raising a brow. He simply shrugged smugly.

"Should we look for them?"

"Look for who?" Karma's voice came from behind Nagisa and the bluenette's head was pushed down by a hand, nearly making him faceplant into his slice of cake.

"Karma!" Shiota attempted to twist around but was pinned in place by his best friend's arm which locked around  his neck as he was given a playful noogie.

"Aw~ where you worried about me? So sweet of you." Nagisa wrestled with one arm, pulling against the taller male.

"What were you doing? -stop that!" Karma laughed  and released the  boy, plopping himself down next to Nagisa instead.

"Just giving Okuda a little present." Okajima leaned forward on all fours.

"So? Did you..."

Nakamura eyeballed the ginger. "You didn't kiss her... did you?" Her voice seemed a hint hopeful. Karma snorted.

"What? No. What made you think that?"

"Where is she anyways?" Mimura asked. Karma pointed behind him.

"Putting her present away. She'll be back."

"So," Rio started, taking a poorly timed  bite of  cake. "What did you get her?"

Karma smiled and shrugged. "Ah, nothing much. Just a succulent and some little doodads. Again, nothing big." Okuda then walked in.

"Do you want cake Okuda? It's really good." Kayano offered, holding out a small plate for her. She took it with many thanks.

"Karma?"  Kayano gathered up another plate and  passed it along to Karma.

"Thank you~."

Maehara stood up, three DVD cases in his hands.

"So who wants to watch a movie?"

 

* * *

 

 

"Ah, my mother is here." Okuda said quietly, turning the brightness on her phone down as to not disturb the people around  her. She was sitting on the couch with Karma, Nagisa, and Kayano, the latter two having fallen asleep on each other as the third movie played on the screen. Some  attendees had gone home already, and others had fallen asleep. Karma shifted beside her.

"You going home?" Okuda nodded.

"I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer."

"Nah, it's okay. It's pretty late anyways. Here, get your stuff and I'll meet you at the door." They stood from the sofa, going their separate ways but meeting again soon after, this time at the front door.

"Thank you for inviting me. I had fun." Okuda smiled kindly, reflecting on Karma's own features.

"Thanks for coming. But uh," he paused, a mischievous smirk spreading on his lips. His golden eyes glancing upward. Hanging from the ceiling was a small tuft of mistletoe. Okuda followed his gaze and blushed  softly before meeting his eyes.

"Can I?" he asked politely. She slowly nodded after a  thought, and he  gently leaned in for the kiss.

 _Merry Christmas_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> McEnd me this was the worst chapter i've written LMAO  
> and im s o  
> sorry  
> for the awful spacing this keyboard really likes double spaces


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LETS MCFREAKING LOSE IT

taicycle: i cant beleive karma pied karasuma

The Devil™: I can

taicycle: of course you can

art dump: He was so calm about it too

Sun monkey: And then he snapped like a gram cracker

are2Dtoo: Graham*

Shroom: Grammar nazi

Sun monkey: Its clearly gram

are2Dtoo: Actually it's a spelling error

taicycle: no its really graham

zooventure: but why

taicycle: i dont know dont ask me

The Darkness: Graham Chapman thought a vegetarian diet affixed by homemade whole grain bread was God's intended lifestyle for humans.

dumb blonde: cracker dude knows whats up

Ritsu: Graham didn't invent the cracker, though.

Shroom: Is marshmallow spread also apart of that intended lifestyle

Okuduh: I'm sorry! I fell asleep early last night. Did you play a game?

The Devil™: Nope

justice: wanted 2 tho

Shota Boy: Then how about now? I'm done with my homework and I'm all for a game.

Shota Boy: I'm kind of bored too.

dumb blonde: teet

dumb blonde: yeet

Available ;): teet lol

are2Dtoo: Teat*

dumb blonde: no one asked omfg

ゆきこ: I'll play!

Sniper 1: Me too

The Darkness: I'll play.

ゆきこ: What should we play?

Okuduh: Truth or dare?

justice: its probs 2 boring 4 karma

The Devil™: I'm down

Available ;): literally wtf

are2Dtoo: Yesterday you said it was boring

Sniper 2: May I join?

Shota Boy: Sure Hayami!

The Devil™: But that was yesterday

The Devil™: Today is today

Shota Boy: Anyone else?

justice: im not even going 2 try understanding karma anymore

Available ;): i gave up a long time ago

Okuduh: Is this everyone? Should we start?

taicycle: ya

The Darkness: Can I start?

dumb blonde: has karasuma noticed his user yet

are2Dtoo: I don’t think so

The Devil™: That reminds me

The Devil™: You still owe me Hayami

Sniper 2: I’ll get it to you by the end of the week.

Shota Boy: Shush let’s start the game.

taicycle: wait how are we gonna do dares

Okuduh: Maybe send a picture or video?

dumb blonde: thats a lot of work

Available ;): ya do u know how hard it is to take a picture of urself trying to lick ur elbow and still look good

Available ;): i mean i dont have that problem

Available ;): im handsome always

The Devil™: You’re real funny Maehara

Available ;): humour has always been an appealing trait of mine

taicycle: yo he just called u ugly

Available ;): no he called me funny

taicycle: read it again

dumb blonde: pfft dumbass

Available;): omg

taicycle: u rlly thought he was complimenting u

are2Dtoo: This is Karma we’re talking about

Available ;): how am i supposed 2 know i cant tell over text

justice: OHMYGODIJUSTWANNAPLAYAGAME

ゆきこ: ...

art dump: ...

taicycle: ...

taicycle: dude chill

dumb blonde: mlao okay okay lets do this

Shota Boy: Wait just so I'm clear, who's playing?

taicycle: me

Sun monkey: Me

are2Dtoo: I guess i will

Available ;): me

justice: me

The Devil™: Okay enough roll call whoever reads your message you can call out

ゆきこ: Sounds good.

The Devil™: Lmao okay cool ASANO

Assano: No.

The Devil™: Truth or dare~

Assano: I said no.

The Devil™: Yeah well your no is debunked truth or dare second place

Assano: Must you call me that? It's annoying.

The Devil™: Ew and loosen up your language all that fancy stuff is repulsive

Assano: In that case I'll continue.

The Devil™: Yeah yeah pick one already

justice: ur holding up the game dude

dumb blonde: yeah truth or dare

Assano: I said I'm not playing.

fuwamazing: literally everyone reading is playing pick one.

Assano: Honestly...

The Devil™: I think that translates to truth aight my dude

Assano: What?

The Devil™: How much do you hate me?

Assano: Hate is a strong word.

The Devil™: I am a man of strong words

Shroom: One round is taking forever

Assano: I strongly detest you.

The Devil™: Aww

The Devil™: You're so sweet you nearly brought tears to my eyes

Assano: Don't think about it too much.

The Devil™: I don't plan to

The Devil™: Moving on, pick someone

Assano: I'm leaving right after.

zooventure: no ones stopping you

Assano: Okuda, truth or dare.

Okuduh: Umm, truth.

Assano: What is the most childish thing you still do?

justice: ...wow

Available ;): i thought itd be a boring question or smthn but im actually kinda interested

Art dump: Yeah same here

Okuduh: Hmmm...

Okuduh: It's a little embarrassing, but sometimes I talk to my stuffed animals as if they're alive.

Sun monkey: Thats so cute

fuwamazing: AAAAA SAME

Assano: Huh...

The Devil™: Cute~

Assano: It strangely fits.

Mamahara: I used to do that~ i still have a lot of my plushies

Okuduh: I have so many but I still feel like it isn't enough. You don't think it's obsession?

The Devil™: Not really

are2Dtoo: I collect posters of 2D girls

yadayada: yeah its more like a collection.

strong boi: i collect soda tabs

taicycle: what

dumb blonde: hey.. isnt that kind of pointless...

strong boi: whats so wrong with it!?

justice: soda tabs...

dumb blonde: theres no use in collecting tabs

strong boi: its just a hobby!

strong boi: and who said there had to be a use...

taicycle: well usually there's some purpose

Okuduh: When did you start collecting, Terasaka?

strong boi: some time last year

strong boi: i figured because i drank so much soda i should just collect the tabs

yadayada: but why the tabs?

The Devil™: You'll get cavities if you drink too much Terasaka~ live a healthy life like me

strong boi: how is your lifestyle healthier than mine

The Devil™: I don't drink as much soda as you

Shota Boy: You have sweets to substitute though.

The Devil™: Sweets are good~ simmered au lait is good~

strong boi: the amount of strawberry milk you drink is weird

The Devil™: Like i said, simmered au lait is good~

strong boi: that stuffs too sweet for me

The Devil™: thats why your a human shield

dumb blonde: oof he came at him

strong boi: whats that supposed to mean huh!?

The Devil™: fufufu~

Shota Boy: So even a game as innocent as this can be turned into something harsh...

zooventure: yall take so long

Ikemegu: Okuda, it's your turn, yes?

Okuduh: I'll go next then.

justice: tabs...

strong boi: take it or leave it buddy

Okuduh: Isogai, truth or dare?

Yuuma: Truth.

Okuduh: What are you most self-conscious about?

dumb blonde: hey.. are you just reading off a website

Okuduh: I'm sorry, I'm just bad at making up questions.

dumb blonde: no its fine

dumb blonde: im probably looking at the same one...

Yuuma: I'd have to say...

Yuuma: Well, the fact that I'm poor, probably. It causes a lot of problems so I don't want anyone to worry, although I'm fine with it myself.

Sniper 2: Ikemen...

Yuuma: Ah, I'm not perfect so I wouldn't say that really. ^^

yadayada: down to the last sentence!

Art dump: Im kinda jealous

waifuislifeu: id kill him if it means id be that...

kayaNO: remarks like that won't get you anywhere.

Sun monkey: You could never be him

dumb blonde: not handsome enough

waifuislifeu: ow

sugoino: is that okajima?

fuwamazing: who else would it be.

Sniper 2: It's better than his last username.

itonahbro: truth

Mamahara: Forget okajima look how modest isogai is!

noodleloofah: thats why hes the class ikemen

Shroom: Jealous

Yuuma: Ah... thanks then.

strong boi: hey muramatsu you off work

noodleloofah: soon

noodleloofah; im on break

justice: how is it thst muramatsu can work but not isogai

Yuuma: It's because it's a family business, right?

noodleloofah: yup

justice: ohh

Yuuma: I should go my turn. 

Yuuma: Kayano?

kayaNO: oh i guess i was the first to read it.

Yuuma: Truth or Dare?

kayaNO: Dare!

Yuuma: Uhm.. let's see.

Available ;): lol hes looking it up

Ikemegu: Aren't we all?

Available ;): u got me there

kayaNO: websites for this stuff are evil sometimes

Yuuma: Compose a poem based off of something the group comes up with.

Shroom: Pff easy

zooventure: you can do it kayano! (o^▽^o)

kayaNO: this should be easy, right?

justice: so the rest of us pick the topic?

Yuuma: Yes. It can be anything.

kayaNO: please keep it appropriate...

waifuislifeu: aw

yadayada: creep.

waifuislifeu: am not!

yadayada: are too.

noodleloofah: the life of a ramen house chef

dumb blonde: sad

dumb blonde: end of poem

The Devil™: Beautiful

Available ;): youch

noodleloofah: only sometimes

Shota Boy: I always thought that life would be peaceful...

Ikemegu: Toucan Sam.

justice: what even

The Devil™: I only allow Toucan Sam poems in my holy christian suburbs

dumb blonde: send me your tony x sam doujins will buy

zooventure: sorry i only have love for sam x sonny

Sun monkey: i'd sell my soul for lucky x cap'n crunch

Art dump: So wrong on so many levels...

strong boi: i need b lea ch

Ikemegu: I drink bleach for breakfast.

dumb blonde: gotta get that high yknow

Shroom: Dont do drugs kids

noodleloofah: hey hasn't kayano been quiet?

Okuduh: She's writing a poem isn't she?

Art dump: About what though

Shota Boy: I guess we'll find out?

sugoino: i hope its about the ramen chef

noodleloofah: nah

dumb blonde: we wrapped that up ages ago

kayaNO: toucan sam / he went out with a bam / he said follow your nose / for the fruity taste that shows

Shroom: Write my movie lines

Okuduh: That's so sad!

yadayada: holy crap.

strong boi: he was annoying anyways

Ikemegu: //GASP

Art dump: How dare you diss toucan sam like that

The Darkness: Truly this is of the highest caliber of poetry.

Sun monkey: What a crap poem

Sun monkey: I'll buy 10

sugoino: t b h

kayaNO: lol anyway uh terasaka truth or dare?

strong boi: dammit what idk dare or something

zooventure: dang cursing right off the bad

strong boi: it was an abrupt reaction

strong boi: why? got something else for me to say?

kayaNO: uh yeah i dare you to curse using only spin off words and stuff like gosh diddly darn

strong boi: what the fuck

kayaNO: YOURE ALREADY BREAKING THE DARE!???

strong boi: no shit sorry

strong boi: FUCK

Available ;): w ow

taicycle: you serious

strong boi: this is a trainwreck

justice: hey at least he didnt say clusterfuck

Shroom: A typical bully macho figure

Daddysuma: What's going on here?

Daddysuma: And Terasaka, stop cursing. It's improper.

Bitch Sensei: Yeah you little shit.

Daddysuma: Irina.

Bitch Sensei: Hey bb.

Sniper 1: Who taught her memes

itonahbro: thats probably my fault

Mamahara: Oh jeez

Yuuma: Well, it was bound to happen someday.

Daddysuma: The same rule applies to you Ms. Jelavic. Though the students are rocky in some ways, I still demand respect for them.

Bitch Sensei: Aww, take a joke Karasuma.

Bitch Sensei: And hey I give them plenty of respect.

Ikemegu: Fufufu~

kayaNO: shhh

zooventure: hey he got more formal Σ(￣△￣)

are2Dtoo: Only you'd notice

taicycle: ^

Daddysuma: I'd beg to differ but I don't beg. Please leave them and treat them as a proper teacher would.

Bitch Sensei: but i am

kayaNO: informal!

Daddysuma: Irina.

Bitch Sensei: Yeah, yeah, I got it. Just do me a favor and get that stick outta your cute butt.

Daddysuma: What?

zooventure: haha he really does... :')

taicycle: ick

Daddysuma: Irina.

The Devil™: She's so gone dude

Daddysuma: Irina.

are2Dtoo: Can i get a rip in the chat

dumb blonde: rip

waifuislifeu: ripperoni

Daddysuma: Irina.

are2Dtoo: I asked for a rip not a ripperoni

kayaNO: get with the times Okajima.

Ikemegu: Guys, Karasuma-sensei is broken.

Daddysuma: I'm not.

Daddysuma: Irina.

Daddysuma: Irina respond to me.

Sniper 1: Never thought I'd see the day where he breaks

taicycle: so like

taicycle: can we take bitch senseis victory for ourselves and not train

kayaNO: no! we have to defeat Koro-sensei and save earth!

Shota Boy: Kayano's right. It's our main priority as Class E students!

Daddysuma: She's not answering her phone. What do I do.

Ikemegu: Is that a question or a thought?

are2Dtoo: He's really broken

Daddysuma: I'm going to call her again.

zooventure: how dare she break him so easily!

zooventure: i wish i could do that...

dumb blonde: you mean you wish you were older and it was legal

zooventure: NO

dumb blonde: ...

zooventure: yes...

justice: figured

zooventure: atfu

The Devil™: Y'all get quiet i'm going to bed

Ikemegu: It's really early. Are you feeling okay?

The Devil™: Yeah but seeing as Nagisa passed out after his last text it made me tired too

dumb blonde: you guys together?

The Devil™: Ya

dumb blonde: gay

The Devil™: Only mildly

Ikemegu: Oof.

zooventure: ;)

The Devil™: Okay see you guys Monday

zooventure: night!

Ikemegu: Good night Karma.

dumb blonde: nite

Daddysuma: Hello.

Daddysuma: Irina.

Daddysuma: Answer me.

Daddysuma: Has anyone heard from her.

Daddysuma: Irina I know you can see this.

Daddysuma: Call me as soon as you can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET OUTTA YOUR MIND


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some 1 v 1 chat time ft ass man and a bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um so these special chapters n stuff once a month yaaaa have fun. request if you want anything specific

The Devil™: Assssaaaaanooooo

Assano: Don't talk to me.

The Devil™: What's the Class A homework

Assano: Why do you need to know?

The Devil™: Because I want harder work than this kindergartner stuff

Assano: I thought it suited you.

The Devil™: Haha yeah okay so what's the hw

Assano: Why should I tell you again?

The Devil™: Cause you get a challenge

Assano: Are you saying you can score higher than me?

The Devil™: No but yes

The Devil™: Can i get that homeowrk yet

Assano: Sure.

**Assano sent an image.**

The Devil™: Thanks

Assano: No problem.

The Devil™: Wow~ so organised. wish my life was like this

Assano: Don’t you come from a rich family?

The Devil™: Yeah but that doesnmt mean i have my life in order lmao

Assano: True.

Assano: What are you doing right now?

The Devil™: Play video games

Assano: You aren’t studying for the exams?

The Devil™: Of course i am. this is just to pass time

Assano: Until?

The Devil™: Until the exams

Assano: Akabane, exams are this week.

The Devil™: ya

Assano: How do you expect to pass with so little studying?

The Devil™: idk

Assano: Honestly, to think I gave you the homework for extra practice.

The Devil™: ya

Assano: Are you answering simplistically because you’re playing games?

The Devil™: ya

Assano: How rude.

Assano: The least you could do is pause the game.

Assano: That’s what I’d do at least. It makes a bad impression on people if you put them on the back burner like this.

Assano: Besides, someone from such a distinguished family, you’d think your parents would be stricter about schoolwork.

Assano: ...Are you ignoring me to play games?

Assano: At least tell me you’re going so I stop texting.

The Devil™: bye

Assano: Seriously!?

The Devil™: Well you told me to tell you i’m leaving

Assano: You ignored everything else.

The Devil™: Yipper skipper

Assano: What.

The Devil™: What

Assano: Nevermind. It’s probably some E-class slang.

The Devil™: Nah

The Devil™: Yeeterino is e class slang

Assano: That’s even worse. Never say that again.

The Devil™: Yes cerritos

Assano: Stop, that’s a commercial.

The Devil™: And an answer lol

Assano: That’s cringy.

The Devil™: That’s a part of my job description

Assano: You don’t even work. It’s just your personality.

The Devil™: Ouch. be gentle with me i’m fragile

Assano: Fragile my ass.

The Devil™: I bet that’s fragile too

Assano: Stop, we’re not talking about this.

The Devil™: Ya ya

The Devil™: I gotta appease a fat camel bye

Assano: What?

Assano: Stop playing Breath of the Wild and talk to me like a proper person!

Assano: It’s not even the best game. Why not play something more revolutionary like OoT?

The Devil™: Stop right there

Assano: What.

The Devil™: Just because oot was revolutionary doesn’t mean it’s a great game

Assano: So what you mean is that it’s not a great game?

The Devil™: In its day, sure. not anymore. they’ve done so much to the series that there are far more games that have better quality

Assano: You have a point. I personally like Twilight Princess better than the other games.

The Devil™: That’s a good one. i like majora’s mask best

Assano: The Groundhog Day one. That was okay, but it was a little tough with everything you had to do.

The Devil™: I eventually worked my way up and did all the side quests

Assano: Exactly how much time do you have on your hands?

The Devil™: Lots

Assano: Your parents don’t mind?

The Devil™: Nope. they’re overseas, so as long as i do my work they don’t care what i do~

Assano: Interesting. Where are they?

The Devil™: America

Assano: Really? Have you gone?

The Devil™: Nah. they don’t take me on trips

Assano: That’s a downer.

The Devil™: It’s part of their work. i don’t mind

Assano: I see.

The Devil™: Hey hey asano~

Assano: Hm?

The Devil™: You wanna smash

Assano: Excuse me?

The Devil™: Ssb

Assano: Oh sure. My father isn’t home for the day.

The Devil™: Ick you’re dad has a stick up his ass

Assano: Yes, but it’s probably for the best.

The Devil™: Ya

The Devil™: What’s your name

Assano: Xsano

The Devil™: Asano was taken i guess

Assano: Unfortunately.

The Devil™: Lame~ so boring

Assano: What’s yours then?

The Devil™: pussydestroyer69

Assano: Fucking really.

The Devil™: Lmao no it’s KamiKaru

Assano: Hair Karma.

The Devil™: No, but i do have nice hair

Assano: Not wrong.

The Devil™: Waaa a compliment!?!?

Assano: Listen, when your hair blows in the wind it’s super nice okay.

The Devil™: Asano that’s a little gay

Assano: And I’m a little straight so it’s okay.

The Devil™: ;)

Assano: No.

The Devil™: Damn

Assano: Okay I have you added.

The Devil™: Aight cool

Assano: Calling would be easier. Here, I’ll go ahead.

“...Hello? Alright, I made a room.”

” _Okay. Hold on a sec_.”

”Hmm, Asano? Who do you main?”

” _Sheik and Lucina. But mostly Sheik. You?”_

 _”_ Peach _.”_

_”Peach!?”_

_”_ My girl is great don’t judge. _”_

_”Alright well how about second best?”_

_”_ You _.”_

_”Hilarious.”_

”Hahaha, I know. Marth.”

_“Marth? Basic.”_

“I was joking. It’s Diddy Kong.”

_“Please go back to Marth.”_

”I thought it was stupid too until I started winning online battles.”

_“No way. How’d you even pick him?”_

”I put myself on random to try out characters for serious matches. Turns out I’m good at Diddy Kong.”

_“He’s an annoying character, but I guess I can’t be mad. He’s one of the top tiers.”_

”Yeah, but I prefer Peach over Diddy. I can booty bump my opponents off the stage.”

_“You would pick a character like that, wouldn’t you.”_

“You know it. Hey who are you picking?”

_”Sheik.”_

”Okay, I’ll bring my best too.”

_"What's it out of?"_

"Mm, I say the normal three."

_"Alright. Take items off."_

"I'm leaving the smash ball on."

_"Naturally."_

"I wonder if you're second best at this too~?"

" _As if. I practice when my father isn't home."_

"What a rebel. Let's have fun, Asano-kun~."

_"It's starting. Shut up and pay attention. I don't want to win against someone not committed to winning."_

"Ah, but I'm always committed."

* * *

_"Shit!"_

"Ahaha! You got cocky Asano! Looks like I win~."

_"Heh, you're right. I thought I could end it quick."_

"Yeah? You're pretty good. I almost panicked when you got me twice in a row."

_"I'm impressed too. Peach is pretty neutral."_

"Practice makes nearly perfect. I should still try landing safely. It's hard when someone like you is darting about everywhere."

_"Mm. Anyways, I’m curious to know what the E-class does during school. I’m sure you don’t all lay around. What are you up to?”_

”What are we up to? Nothing really. It’s just as you said, we laze around.”

_”I doubt it. In the auditorium you have a teacher I’ve never seen before. Who is he?”_

”Oh, him? He’s just some dog they hired to teach is delinquents.”

_”Perhaps, but is that really the truth?”_

”Now Asano-kun, why would I not tell you the truth?”

_”I can hear the smile. It’s not a secret.”_

”No one said it was, but what’s more interesting is why you’re snooping. Why so curious?”

_”You all... Class E has never risen through the ranks this much before. Something’s changed. I want to know what it is.”_

”Maybe we just hired better teachers.”

_”That good? I highly doubt it. You’ve won physical tournaments too.”_

”Karasuma-sensei is a good gym teacher.”

_”Karasuma? I’ve seen him talking to the chairman.”_

”To report about us, no doubt.”

_“Then it’s a grim report. Are you all doing so horribly that Karasuma-sensei’s serious face gets even stiffer?”_

”We cause a lot of trouble, I’d say. Heh, fun stuff.”

_”Like?”_

”Pieing.”

_”Pieing...”_

”And glue on the chair.”

_”Really.”_

”Oh, saran wrap is fun too. Did you know Okuda-chan’s nose is really cute when it’s scrunched up like a pig’s?”

_”No, I didn’t know.”_

”Fufufu~ I heard a little jealousy. Do you like her Asano-kun?”

_”Not in that way.”_

”Good answer! If you did I might have to kill you.”

_”You like her?”_

”I won’t let anyone stop me from ruling the world."

_"I'm sure she would."_

"Not when she's my queen."

_"She still would."_

"I'll buy her food so she doesn't oppose me. Best way to a woman's heart is through her stomach."

_"That's a man's heart!"_

"And woman's."

_"You're ridiculous. I can't stand talking to you with your crazy ideals."_

"What are  _your_ ideals then?"

_"I'm not sharing them with you!"_

"Oh, I can imagine it now. Asano-kun wants a big lady. And I mean  _big_ _!_ "

_"No!-"_

"A foreign woman maybe-"

_"No! Stop-"_

"No? Then a rare Japanese woman, the kind with a large chest."

_"Akabane!"_

"I don't think you'd find one here. It's only junior high."

_"Pervert. To notice something like that..."_

"Pervert? Me? No. Just an observer."

_"That's no different!"_

"Don't worry! I'm sure with your handsome looks you'll be a hit with the ladies in a few years. Hey, they say we look similar. How weird right?"

_"I'm both flattered and disgusted."_

"Right? Who'd want to look similar to you?"

_"You just said I was handsome!"_

"Did I? I must have been talking about myself."

_"A narcissist too. Should've guessed."_

"Aww don't be so butt hurt over it. You're a good looking guy, Asano-kun."

_"I'm a great looking guy."_

"Narcissism doesn't look good on you."

_"Well I for one think it fits."_

"Hah! Talking to you is tiring me out. I'm heading off now."

_"Same here. Bring your A game on the exam."_

"Sure thing~."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't you tell i ran out of script ideas at the end  
> anyways sorry for taking so long. besides school i've also been sick so that's been fun


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have some popular ship my dudes

Bitch sensei: My phone died.

zooventure: sensei!

Available ;): karasuma totally freaked the other day. nice going!

Shroom: Yeah did he ever see you?

kayaNO: visit you?

noodleloofah: kiss you?

Bitch sensei: You wish!

The Devil™: You too

Bitch sensei: Well, a bit.

Bitch sensei: Hey don't snoop into my love life!

Shota Boy: But Bitch-sensei, don't you think it's tiring to have him dodge the bullet so often?

Mamahara: And we don't mean to pry. it's just that..well

kayaNO: it's obvious you like him.

Bitch sensei: DON'T BE SO BLUNT!

dumb blonde: oof

dumb blonde: but its getting old

dumb blonde: i want some romance in this dump!

Okuduh: I agree with Nakamura-san! Except for the dump part.

Sun monkey: It's exciting.

Bitch sensei: Is it really that obvious?

strong boi: yeah its pretty disgusting

are2Dtoo: I'd have to agree with Terasaka

yadayada: its not gross! its right out of a shoujo manga~.

Bitch sensei: So my love life is typical huh.

waifuislifeu: karasuma... what a lucky guy!

kayaNO: shut it creep!

waifuislifeu: is that all i am to you!?

sugoino: if anything i kinda want to push karasuma forward

sugoino: its kinda frustrating how he always shuts her out

are2Dtoo: Yeah

Bitch sensei: It's not like I try hard. I usually don't have to.

Okuduh: I feel bad for Bitch-sensei... (̥ ̥এ́ ̼ এ̥̀)̥̥

kayaNO: its only cause Karasuma is a brick.

Sun monkey: You’re kinda right. As blunt as she is, he still hasn't noticed.

Bitch sensei: I've been trying so hard lately. It's way too much work! He's seduction proof!

itonahbro: im seduction proof too

kayaNO: you just wanna see her boobs.

itonahbro: who wouldnt

waifuislifeu: youre truly my bro!

itonahbro: dont relate me to you

waifuislifeu: he dissed me...

dumb blonde: anyways we gotta get karasuma to fall in love with bitch sensei

Shota Boy: I don't know if we should get involved.

The Devil™: Aw c'mon Nagisa! it'll be fun~

strong boi: i dont care what you guys do

strong boi: i guess ill follow

Available ;): im in

waifuislifeu: i cant let a man go without love! count me in

justice: well, i guess i feel sorry for bitch sensei

The Devil™: See Nagisa? it's a great idea

Shota Boy: An idea, but no plan. I can't agree without knowing the terms.

itonahbro: give em the ol razzle dazzle

strong boi: even i know thats not a plan

justice: im pretty useless when it comes to love...

Yuuma: What's going on here?

itonahbro: were trying to get karasuma to nut for bitch sensei

Sun monkey: That's not it Itona!

Bitch sensei: And definitely not that far!

Available ;): we know whats on ur mind jfc dude

waifuislifeu: yeah you gotta take it slow!

Sun monkey: You're one to talk.

waifuislifeu: shut up

Yuuma: i think it's best not to interfere for now.

Available ;): what!? cmon bro its not that huge of a deal

Mamahara: Says the playboy

Sun monkey: She's got that right...

Available ;): what can i say? im just that good

Bitch sensei: More like a headache.

Available ;): am not!

Yuuma: A slight nuisance then.

Available ;): wheres my support!?

Available ;): anyways isogai ur lucky to be an ikemen

Yuuma: Am I?

Available ;): ur an alpha ok? ur the apex predator. everyone wants u, ur like the hot girl that every guy wants

Yuuma: I'm a hot girl?

Available ;): u r the hottest girl

Yuuma: I'm a hot girl!?

Ikemegu: Yes you are.

Okuduh: It's Megu-san!

Ikemegu: It certainly is. :)

Sun monkey: But don't you think Megu would be the hot girl? She's similar to Isogai, but a girl.

yadayada: more like a knight in shining armor~ dreamy~

Ikemegu: Hey, that's a guy's role isn't it?

Sun monkey: Heh, looks like you're still associated with the brawnier type.

Ikemegu: Sadly.

Bitch sensei: Hey what about me?

Okuduh: Oh! I totally forgot about Bitch-sensei.

The Devil™: Same

Shota Boy: Me too. So what should we do?

Bitch sensei: He's just so dense!

The Devil™: I feel that.

dumb blonde: about being dumb? yeah i know

The Devil™: Ha, you wish.

Shota Boy: So Karma's having troubles too?

are2Dtoo: I'd investigate into it but i think i have an idea

dumb blonde: tell me!

are2Dtoo: Confidential

dumb blonde: damn it!

strong boi: who cares

strong boi: lets get this over with

sugoino: we still don't have a plan

Shota Boy: Then how about we set them up for a date? Finding out Karasuma-sensei's plans shouldn't be hard, right?

Okuduh: That's true. I don't want to pry into his personal affairs, but if we just brush the surface then it's not too bad, right?

yadayada: good thinking. i think ritsu might be able to do that, right?

Ritsu: I certainly can!

Art dump: Well thats easy

strong boi: im not good with this tech stuff so go ahead

Sun monkey: Just search for his calendar notices.

Ritsu: Okay. I'll be back shortly.

dumb blonde: look for key words like "date" and "irina"

itonahbro: i cant help but think of wierd things

are2Dtoo: Weird*

kayaNO: gross!

waifuislifeu: we men like to think into the future

itonahbro: i before e except after c

dumb blonde: thats actually disgusting

Bitch sensei: Don’t imagine things like that about me!!

waifuislifeu: too late

are2Dtoo: I’d like to belIEve that but you’re wrong

Yuuma: I think we should leave her alone. She’s got enough shit to deal with.

dumb blonde: sometimes i forget isogai cusses on the daily

itonahbro: dont you mean beleive

Okuduh: Even though his personality is ikemen.

itonahbro: wait how the fuck

Mamahara: He’s great right?

Yuuma: I’m flattered. ^^

are2Dtoo: The rule is a lie

itonahbro: ive been betrayed

waifuislifeu: dammit! leave some girls for us less fortunate guys

Yuuma: But I’m not taking them??

Available ;): hes the hot girl after all

yadayada: and megu is the prince charming~.

Ikemegu: Again with that?

waifuislifeu: oh please youre snatching them like a venus flytrap

waifuislifeu: dudes like me and takebayashi are starving for some action!

are2Dtoo: Don’t lump me in with you

waifuislifeu: but dude you havent gotten ANY chicks this whole year

are2Dtoo: And?

itonahbro: youre ok with that?

are2Dtoo: The only way it’d be worth it is if she was 2D

Okuduh: Haha, Takebayashi-san hasn’t changed in preference.

waifuislifeu: bro i get where youre coming from but man there aint a girl like that irl you gotta get broader

are2Dtoo: Don’t break my fantasy

are2Dtoo: That reminds me. terasaka, i’m heading out to a maid cafe

strong boi: ok ill meet you there

dumb blonde: terasaka goes to maid cafes??

The Devil™: Top 10 anime plot twists

Shota Boy: Not even I expected that...

waifuislifeu: agh i wanna go too but i dont have money

itonahbro: anyways having sex outside sounds pretty adventurous but what if a bug crawls up your asshole then what are you gonna do

dumb blonde: he said “anyways”

Bitch sensei: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU IMAGINING!?

waifuislifeu: threesome

The Devil™: S t o p

Bitch sensei: I can’t believe people like you are pitying my romance.

Shota Boy: I’m leaving before this gets worse.

Okuduh: Same here...

dumb blonde: this chat too wild for me lmfao im out

Sun monkey: Everyone’s leaving. I will too.

Mamahara: Even everyone who was lurking left after that

Mamahara: I don’t really wanna think about it though so i’m going to dsitract myself by cooking. Bye!

waifuislifeu: woah the chat suddenly got empty

waifuislifeu: too intense?

yadayada: okajima just leave

fuwamazing: this was too explicit for the readers! dont scare them away!

fuwamazing: sorry everyone. there was some input into this chapter so it turned out kinda nasty!

yadayada: fuwa who are you talking to

waifuislifeu: yeah wtf what chapter

fuwamazing: dont worry about it.（＾ν＾）

yadayada: okay...?

waifuislifeu: k

waiduislifeu: i gotta get back to something. see ya!

fuwamazing: bye!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the lateness. ao3 shut down while i was writing last night so i couldn't publish it yesterday.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finals own my ass

The Darkness: Hello. Anyone online?

Yuuma: I'm here.

Sun monkey: Hello!

The Darkness: I haven't been online a lot. I feel bad.

Shroom: Havent you been stlaking the chat this entire time

The Darkness: Only a lot.

itonahbro: "only a lot"

Yuuma: Well, that's her forte, right?

stronk boi: its way too early to be talking

The Darkness: Then try going back to sleep?

stronk boi: nah i like talking with you even though youre weird

The Devil™: (☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎

Yuuma: Aren’t we all, haha.

dumb blonde: no you ikemen

taicycle: what the hell karma

itonahbro: the lips

The Devil™: Perfect right

The Devil™: So luscious

dumb blonde: so pink

itonahbro: (⁎⁍̴̆Ɛ⁍̴̆⁎) and so kissable

Shroom: Damn what

dumb blonde: my homo senses are tingling

stronk boi: turn your homo senses off

dumb blonde: i turned them off

The Devil™: Turn them on ;)

dumb blonde: look at that solid permission this shit is in the EXTREME

itonahbro: thats fuckin gay

Shroom: youre fucking gay

The Devil™: It’s okay I know how alluring i can be

Yuuma: I’m shitting myself I just imagined Karma flipping his hair.

stronk boi: he doesnt even have long hair

The Darkness: Beiber flip.

dumb blonde: NO

The Devil™: Hands down would tap myself.

itonahbro: same

dumb blonde: itona you never struck me as the confident type

itonahbro: im not

taicycle: dont

itonahbro: id tap karma

stronk boi: thats gay as hell stfu

itonahbro: it isnt gay if you say no homo

The Darkness: You didn’t though.

itonahbro: no homo

Yuuma: It’s way too late!

The Devil™: Oof man i’m even drawing in the best boys

dumb blonde: iM NOT BEST BOY!?

The Devil™: You’re best girl calm yourself

itonahbro: whip dav

taicycle: cringe

Shroom: C e a s e

stronk boi: never understood that trend

The Darkness: What was that other one? Hit the molly or something.

dumb blonde: hIT THE MOLLY IM SQUAkINg

taicycle: were changing the name of it

The Devil™: Smack that marijuana

The Darkness: I’m so uncultured- what is it.

dumb blonde: HIT THE QUAN

The Darkness: Oh-

stronk boi: can we please keep her mildly innocent i like her the way she is

stronk boi: stop morphing my girl guys

The Darkness: I’m transcending my humanity.

stronk boi: no come back

The Devil™: Oya?

dumb blonde: oyaoya?

Shroom: oyaoyaoya

stronk boi: yall shut UP whats with that

The Devil™: Ne, ne, Nakamura is that?

dumb blonde: yes

The Darkness: I donmt get it.

stronk boi: just ignore them

The Devil™: Terasaka~

stronk boi: get away

The Devil™: Is there something you wanna tell me~?

stronk boi: no why

dumb blonde: terasaka spit it out

stronk boi: why would i tell you two anything!?

The Devil™: Because Nakamura and I are the best combo when it comes to therapy

The Devil™: I won’t say what kind ;)

dumb blonde: we can guide you

The Devil™: Support you

dumb blonde: and you’ll definitely get her

stronk boi: what in the fuck are you two talking about

The Darkness: I think they’re encouraging you to take their relationship advice.

dumb blonde: fucking brick

The Devil™: Should’ve pmed him huh

stronk boi: NO

stronk boi: FUCK NO

Daddysuma: Terasaka stop swearing.

taicycle: holy shit

The Darkness: Summoned!

Daddysuma: Yoshida.

taicycle: my bad

The Devil™: Karasuma-sensei, I thought you said you wouldn’t chat unless it’s about assassination?

Daddysuma: I was annoyed by the swearing on my screen.

dumb blonde: Where are you Karasuma-sensei?

Daddysuma: Tokyo.

Shroom: Lucky!

Daddysuma: I wouldn’t say that, but sure.

The Darkness: Do you not like Tokyo?

Daddysuma: I do when I don’t have to work.

dumb blonde: its saturday! go home!

Daddysuma: I just said I have to work.

Yuuma: Good luck Karasuma-sensei! We’ll be rooting for you from home.

Daddysuma: Thanks. I’m leaving then.

The Darkness: Good bye.

stronk boi: damn that was quick

Yuuma: He just said not to swear.

stronk boi: its fine chill

The Darkness: So Terasaka, are you thinking of taking Karma and Nakamura’s advice?

stronk boi: what

Shroom: The dating advice

stronk boi: oh fuck no who do you think i am

itonahbro: a pussy

The Devil™: ^ He got you there

stronk boi: itona i swear to god

Yuuma: Terasaka stop fucking swearing.

dumb blonde: someone start a swear jar for the steroid guy

stronk boi: im not on steroids this is pure muscle

The Devil™: Brawn over brain yknow ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

The Darkness: Hm. I was thinking I might take their advice.

The Devil™: Nakamura

dumb blonde: I KNOW

taicycle: a horrible choice really

The Darkness: They’re the only ones with a solid reputation in shipping.

dumb blonde: weeeeelll yeah

The Devil™: We promise to do our best Hazama ψ(｀∇´)ψ

The Darkness: The books weren’t enough, I’ll trust you two.

stronk boi: christ

Sun monkey: Sorry, I was cleaning the dishes. You read romance guides Hazama?

stronk boi: this chat is getting weird

dumb blonde: it was always weird you meat wall

The Darkness: Only one. It didn’t exactly meet my expectations.

itonahbro: pff

stronk boi: whos side are you even on itona

Sun monkey: What was it about?

itonahbro: i am but an innocent bystander

The Devil™: Don’t pick on my favourites Terasaka, you should focus on your girl

stronk boi: shes not my girl

The Darkness: Succubus and other demons of lust.

Sun monkey: I... donmt think taht will help you...

dumb blonde: she just got best girl ripped away from her oh my GOD YOU BRICK THATS THE COMPLETE ERONG WAY TO

dumb blonde: SCREEEECH

The Devil™: This is so entertaining

The Darkness: I don’t mind. It opens up other opportunities.

dumb blonde: was that a

dumb blonde: im crying hazama did you just flirt

stronk boi: no what is wrong with you

The Darkness: No?

The Devil™: Just take it as we see it

The Darkness: In that book I read it said that some succubus would lure in their victims by befriending them first.

Sun monkey: Donmt compare yourself to a demon!

Sun monkey: I’ll lend you my books, so just forget about that other one.

The Devil™: Hinata saved us all.

dumb blonde: hazama you should try acting cuter. use emojis more

The Devil™: And maybe read Hinata’s books, i think those are... more suitable, to what you need

The Darkness: And what about seduction techniques? Do the books talk about that?

stronk boi: do i even want to be here anymore or should i leave because wtf

The Darkness: It’s okay Terasaka. I’m getting advice. ^^

dumb blonde: yes use the cute ones

stronk boi: that looks weird

Sun monkey: Hazama, I’ll deliver the books to your house immediately

The Darkness: Thank you. I’ll make sure to read them all.

The Devil™: Just leave the seduction parts for later

The Devil™: I don’t think you’ll need them now.... hopefully not for a long time

Sun monkey: I’m going to Hazama’s. I’ll text you guys later.

dumb blonde: bye hinata!

Sun monkey: Good bye!

itonahbro: this chat be wildin

stronk boi: dont ever use that again

stronk boi: im gonna go to the gym so see ya

itonahbro: can we go to muramatsus after youre done

stronk boi: yeah sure

The Devil™: I’ll go too~ Itona text me when you leave

itonahbro: my dad isnt home you could come over so its easier when we leave

The Devil™: Oh yeah? okay i’ll head over then

dumb blonde: rip @ my loner ass ill be watching the animes if you need me

The Darkness: Nakamura, you could come over and look at the books with me if you’d like?

dumb blonde: o shit aight aight i’ll go too. see you soon

The Darkness: I’ll leave the door unlocked. See you.


	10. Who's That? ( Filler Content )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The characters behind the usernames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a request the other day for a key of all the student’s usernames! i’ve been wondering if i should ever post something to clarify their personas for a while now, so the request pushed me to actually do it!

Order : Alphabetical Order A-Z

\- Name

\- Username

\- Type style

 

Asano Gakushuu

“Assano”

Perfect syntax

 

Chiba Ryuunosuke

“Sniper 1”

Capitalizes first letter / names, punctuation

 

Fuwa Yuzuki

“Fuwamazing”

Lowercase, punctuation, kaomojis

 

Hara Sumire

“Mamahara”

Capital first letter, apostrophes

 

Hayami Rinka

“Sniper 2”

Perfect syntax

 

Hazama Kirara

“The Darkness”

Perfect syntax

 

Irina Jelavic

“Bitch sensei”

Perfect syntax

 

Isogai Yuuma

“Yuuma”

Perfect syntax, cusses

 

Itona Horibe

“itonahbro”

Lowercase

 

Kanzaki Yukiko

“ゆきこ”

Perfect syntax

 

Karasuma Tadaomi

“Daddysuma”

Perfect syntax

 

Karma Akabane

“The Devil™”

Capitalizes first letter / names, commas, apostrophes, ψ(｀∇´)ψ

 

Kayano Kaede

“kayaNO”

Lowercase excluding names, punctuation

 

Kurahashi Hinano

“zooventure”

Lowercase, kaomojis

 

Maehara Hiroto

“Available ;)”

Lowercase, shortcuts

 

Masayoshi “Justice” Kimura

“justice”

Lowercase, commas, shortcuts

 

Megu Kataoka

“Ikemegu”

Perfect syntax

 

Mimura Kouki

“Shroom”

Capitalizes first letter

 

Muramatsu Takuya

“noodleloofah”

Lowercase

 

Nagisa Shiota

“Shota Boy”

Perfect Syntax

 

Nakamura Rio:

“dumb blonde”

Lowercase

 

Okajima Taiga

“waifuislifeu” , previously "porndealer"

Lowercase

 

Okano Hinata

“Sun monkey”

Perfect Syntax

 

Okuda Manami

“Okuduh”

Perfect syntax, kaomojis

 

Ritsu

“Ritsu”

Perfect syntax, kaomojis

 

Sugaya Sousuke

“Art dump”

Capitalizes first letter

 

Sugino Tomohito

“sugoino”

Lowercase

 

Takebayashi Koutarou

“are2Dtoo”

Uppercase first letter, commas, apostrophes

 

Terasaka Ryouma

“stronk boi”

Lowercase, curses

 

Yada Touka

“yadayada”

Lowercase, punctuation, commas

 

Yoshida Taisei

“taicycle”

Lowercase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope this helps some of you with the humour! じゃあね bye bye!

**Author's Note:**

> i wanna die  
> updates 1-2 two times a week idk 3 if i feel like it  
> edit: jk i never update


End file.
